During times of transition after Divorce, it may be difficult to muster up enthusiasm for celebration. As your birthday approaches, look back to how you chose to authentically celebrate your life journey a few years ago. I encourage you always to find ways to celebrate and sparkle on.
You should say it every day – regardless of the gradual hike upward in age – I LOVE my birthday. I love a day designed for simply celebrating your own unique existence. Your next birthday, you should be charged up with the same gusto as your children. You should put the party planning techniques you have mastered for your children’s birthday parties to use for your own. You should host a Celebration of Sparkle in honor of the women in your life who contribute to your sparkle.
Your intentions should be threefold: join together some of your favorite women in one room and let the fun unfold; have an event around your birthday that you would look forward to, plan for and enjoy every minute of; and put a bunch of glitter on stuff all around your house because that would simply make you happy. You meet each intention and then some.
As you look around at the women gathered in your living room, all dressed in their own bit of sparkle you saw that you had formed lasting relationships with women at every stage in your life. There were high school friends, college friends, law school friends, and friends you had picked up over the last decade-plus since becoming a professional. And they were all still with you. As a divorced person, we may get the thought that we don’t know how to make relationships last. You should feel affirmed looking at all of the women with you. You were, in fact, good at lasting relationships. Your full living room proved it. But until it was staring you in the face, you had been holding a different damaging opinion of yourself. You suddenly realized one failed relationship does not make you a failure.
You know how hard it is to have your first birthday post-divorce. But you also know how fabulous and fun your second birthday post-divorce can be with a little bit of focused intention. I urge you to consider taking one of the following actions for your birthday this year. Pick the one that matches your energy level best.
- Throw a party: Even if a party for 1. Make sure that you pause to celebrate you in a way that is meaningful for your heart. Whether it means a small dinner with a friend, a picnic in the park with you and your kids, or a long bath filled to the top with bubbles, pause and take time to honor you. In the way that means the most to you. Plan it, schedule it, mark the time out on your calendar. Anticipate it and then relish it.
- Celebrate your success: Reflect on the last 12 months of your life. Write down – yes, I mean physically write down, each and every accomplishment. Write the sad parts that you got past. Write down the things that happened that you never could have predicted that brought you joy or pain. Write it all down. Look at what you did in the last year. Sit with it. Cry about it. Laugh about it. Feel proud.
- Write your vision: I urge you to think about your life a year from now. Be brave and muster up all the courage you can and look out a year from now. What would be the perfect thing to see? Where to you want to be? Get real and start thinking about the changes you would like to see, the parts you would like to improve or what absolutely must stay the same.
Most of all – I wish for you to get back to a point of celebrating your inner sparkle. It may be buried now, but it will resurface. I promise. And there is no better day than your birthday to start looking for it.