mother and child

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You know the people who have it all together? The ones who manage to take a shower everyday and never go out in public in their pajamas. The ones who have certainly never stumbled upon a picture of themselves on the People of Walmart website. You know the ones I mean, right? Well you know what they don’t have? They don’t have practice finding the calm from within the chaos.

When big life changes, such as a divorce, occur, chaos often ensues. Though chaos may be a necessary element in change, I have yet to encounter anyone who is comfortable within the chaos.

Although the setting of life after divorce and single parenting may be different, I have no doubt the scenes are often similar. Enjoy these excerpts from my own chaos and how I managed to find some calm in spite of it all.

Shortly after my separation, one of my put together friends told me, “Today I organized my t-shirt drawer and sorted it by sleeve length and color.”

And I was like, “Cool. I cleaned soup off the ceiling.”

When they boasted, “I made a wholesome dinner of balsamic lamb chops on a fluffy bed of quinoa pilaf with a side of roasted asparagus and hollandaise sauce.” I was like, “Sounds delish. I discovered you can (but probably shouldn’t) substitute butter flavored Crisco for butter in Kraft Mac and Chee. Plus, I was called best mom ever when I declared that just for today, fruit snacks are totally in the fruit group.”

Later, at 9:30 PM when their kids were slumbering peacefully instead of running amuck, fighting over who had the iPad first, they pulled out their freshly laundered, non-stained clothing. After it was all pressed to perfection and hanging neatly on matching hangers in a color coordinated closet, they turned in early so they could wake up at the butt crack of dawn to run 8 miles.

Meanwhile, in my house-zoo, I was shoveling through the laundry mountain hoping to dig up some children’s PJs as the children were sitting down for their Crisco cheese and “fruit”. The last pair of mismatched jammie pants were finally unearthed, along with a little treasure.

I lovingly cradled a pair of yoga pants I had deemed long forgotten. They had been hiding inside a pillow case at the inner core of the laundry drift. The calm settled over me as I realized these pants were my ticket to appearing put together. I would put them on in the morning and as I went about my daily routine (or lack thereof), all who I encountered would assume I had just finished a strenuous workout and have no idea I was actually disheveled and chaotic.

In the beginning phases of a divorce, life is all about survival and figuring out your new normal. Luckily, the trusted Boca Raton divorce lawyers at Orner Law, LLC know all about navigating the waters of chaos to find the calm. Call today for a consultation.